Wednesday, September 8, 2010
FROG IN THE KITCHEN
Whenever I declare to Honeybuns that I need a maid, his reply is the standard, "You have it made" and that's the end of the discussion. So...occasionally I DO clean, starting at one end of the house and furiously working until I get to the other end or collapse from exhaustion whichever comes first. The goal is to get it all done in one day so I can sit back and enjoy ONE day of clean. That's all the longer that lasts. It's a never-ending ordeal!
Most "cleaning days" are pretty boring, even with frequent breaks to call a friend or two, a quick bike ride around the block or a five minute break to catch up with the news or weather report of the day. My attention span on cleaning day is not great.
Then there was the day the frog appeared. Yep, everything was spic n span, even the mop was back in the garage. I made a final trek through the kitchen admiring the shine on everything in sight when something caught my eye. There in the middle of the kitchen floor was the biggest ugliest wartiest looking frog I'd ever seen. Well, maybe not the biggest, but he was running a close second! I will NEVER understand where he came from or how he got into the house!
He was just sitting there grinning as if he was on a lily pad on a pond. We stared at each other for an eternity before I snapped into action. How do you get a big brown frog out of the kitchen??? Perhaps containing him was a better plan than moving him!
I grabbed a Tupperware bowl and plopped it right on top of him while screaming like an Oklahoma Indian on the warpath, as if screaming were going to help the situation. I had visions of him jumping up ON ME as I attempted to cover him with the plastic bowl. He didn't move. I think I scared him more than he scared me if that was possible. He was no doubt in SHOCK.
I put a 2 qt. bottle of Dr. Pepper on top of the bowl to hold him in before he realized that one giant hop upward would guarantee his freedom.
Because I had an appointment and needed to get on the road, I quickly wrote a note and attached it to the bottle. FROG BELOW!! with an arrow pointing downward.
Honeybuns would get home before I returned and surely take care of this intruder.
Sure enough, I arrived home late. Upon entering the kitchen I was disappointed to see that the bowl with the Dr. Pepper bottle on top of it was still in position.
WHAT? Honeybuns was quietly reading the newspaper in his chair.
"DIDN'T YOU SEE MY NOTE?" "DID YOU GET RID OF THE FROG?"
He replied, "look at the note"
He'd written.....FROG-#### BELOW!
I was not ABOUT to look under there! The whole bowl/bottle/note stayed there all night. It was gone the next morning before I got out of bed. The floor was clean as if nothing disgusting had happened there.
I think my "maid" took care of that for me! I DO appreciate him!