RALPH

His name is Ralph.  He and his bride of over 60 years tottered into the McDonalds to get their morning coffee and breakfast.  He wore a navy WWII Veteran cap proudly and they slid into the booth behind us.

We were visiting family in another state and had stopped by for a quick breakfast before seeing the grandchildren.

When Honeybuns got up to get something from the counter and Mrs. Ralph went to order coffee I moved to their booth and sat down by this very elderly gentleman.  I commented on his hat and asked where he'd served in the war.  His eyes lit up, he sat up straight and began his tale.

He was only 17 when he enlisted, he and his brother left the states at the same time. Little did they know they wouldn't see each other for 4 years and that reunion would take place on the battle field.  He was stationed in Europe and was one of 4 young bucks selected for special service when so many other young soldiers lost their lives in the Battle of the Bulge. He and his friends were chosen to replace the dead in one unit.

It was his turn to ask me questions after I related that my uncle was in that battle as a tank driver, who came home complaining about how very cold it was and that he'd experienced frost bite on his feet.  I told him of my Father and three Uncles serving in Europe at the same time. He expressed thanks that they all made it home alive.  Many of his friends did not.  More stories.

Ralph told of his reunion with his brother....a wonderful chance meeting in what he described as hell.  Amazing.

At one point Ralph was shipped to the Philippines to engage in the battle there.  He'd served in both theaters.

More stories and a few tears as he remembered things he vowed to forget.

Mrs. Ralph returned smiling, "Is he entertaining you?"   She and Honeybuns joined the conversation.  It was hard to leave them, but after handshakes and a few "thank you for your service" we said goodbye.

What a treasure!  What a delightful encounter!

Ralph and his buddies will all be gone soon, their stories, their smiles and their tears will no longer be seen at the local McDonalds. We're so very glad we met them and were able to share a few minutes of humanity. We'll never see them again, but we all will remember that visit.

Wonderful things  happen......when we put down our phones.

LEARN BY EXPERIENCE?

A few weeks ago I was sitting at a Dallas Cafe sipping tea, waiting for an appointment time.

The booth behind me was occupied by 4 delightful young men, who had obviously met to discuss their marriages, problems, frustrations, etc.  No doubt they were good friends, seemed to be about the same age (30's) up and coming movers and shakers in the business world. There they were in the middle of the day, having taken off work to fulfill their promise to meet with men who could help them.

I PROMISE I did NOT intend to overhear their conversation.  They were just SO close to my ears, just a few feet away.  They forgot they were in a public place  and soon their discussions became louder and louder as each spoke with passion, disbelief and pain.  Each one was struggling with a wife they simply could NOT understand.

And there I sat.

"She said this......."  I didn't know what to do!"

"When I came in the door, this happened......"

"I tried that, man....it didn't work."

"I'm at the end of my rope...."

"What does she want of me?'

It went on and on.   At first I was slightly entertained and then became very sad that these fine young men that obviously loved their wives were struggling.  AND they were pooling ignorance.  Not one had any good advice for anyone in the group.  Truthfully, if I had not seen their faces as I sat down I would have guessed that they were high school boys killing time after school.  My heart went out to them.

And there I sat.

Having lived through 48 years of marriage and many more years than that of being a woman, I sat there and just WISHED they would LOOK UP and SEE ME and ASK ME to join the conversation.   I wanted to hug them all and tell them a few things or two.

BUT....I'm a granny from another generation, not "HIP," not technically savvy, INVISIBLE.

There's a whole WORLD of us out here. I know several that have weathered unbelievable storms of life, most of which these young men will never experience. How I treasure the friendship of many extremely wise women that have guided my thoughts and reactions concerning a multitude of "crisis."  I've learned its a lot easier to learn from another's experience, both good and bad, than learn those hard lessons on my own.

It seems to me after thousands of dollars spent on counseling, thousands of hours meeting with accountability groups, and thousands of tears shed....these young men might consider a talk with their  grandmothers!  It's not that hard folks.  There are some very basic things that must be done and accomplished and it'll work.

I'm thinking of writing a book.   The title will be:  Common Sense from Granny

What do you think?  You want to add a chapter or two....collaborate with me.

I doubt anyone would buy it or READ it, BUT...we'll have the satisfaction of saying, "we tried."

Learning by another's experience or learning the hard way.  It's a choice.

HOW NOT TO PURCHASE LICENSE PLATES

Time for a new car, he said.  It'll be fun, he said.  Pick out the color, he said.
And we were off in search of a replacement for my very beloved OLD Ford Expedition.  The one that at one time hauled all 9 grandchildren to various places, took us across country many times on vacations, carried us to funerals and weddings and everything in between.  It would be hard to let that truck go.  But....it's time, he said.

SO....we did all the necessary research, looked around for months and finally decided on our new ride.  That was the "fun" part.  Next came the dreaded, applying for license plates part.  And my story begins.

It is required by law to have a metal plate with numbers and letters attached to the front and back of every vehicle on the road here in Texas. There is a humongous bureaucracy in place for this law to be fulfilled. The agency is controlled by the state government and there are various places around the metroplex where the "new owner" of a vehicle must appear, endure the process and pay exorbitant fees.

I am a law abiding citizen.

This is my experience.

First visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I checked the web site and learned that the office nearest me was open daily until 4:30 p.m. I gathered all the documents concerning me, my husband, our history, our lives, our birth weight and arrived at the designated place at 4:10....plenty of time, right?  I was stopped by the security officer before I reached the counter or a chair for a visit.  After 10 minutes of friendly conversation, he informed me that I was there too late in the day because since my new car had been purchased out of state, it would take too long to process my needs that day.  I muttered under my breath and smiled and promised to come back another day, earlier than 4:10.

Second visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I arrived mid morning, visited with the police officer again, took a number and waited.  After some time my number was called and I approached the counter.  After stating my purpose, the clerk informed me that I needed to fill out a rather lengthy form before applying and insisted I take it home and carefully do that.  I smiled at Officer Self on my way out. (Why didn't I get this form on my first trip??)

Third visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I arrived mid day, with completed form in hand, all the documents pertaining to my life in a folder tucked under my arm.  I spoke with Office Self, took a number and sat down to wait.  After a while I was called to the country, where I presented my request and ALL documents known to mankind to the clerk.  After about 15 minutes of her reviewing my papers, she informed me that I must have the TITLE to the car to get license plates.  Of course!  I knew that!  I left without speaking to Officer Self this time.

I went home, called the car dealer and insisted he send me the title of the car.  He promised he would work on it but expect it in 30 days.  Oh, and by the way...IF the license plates are purchased after 30 days, there would be an additional fine.   I went out and stood by the mail box for the title to be delivered.  It appeared about 3 weeks later.

Fourth visit to the Denton Country Tax/Tag Office:
Since Honeybuns was driving to Tulsa EARLY that morning,  I got up at 3:00 a.m. and together we reviewed all the paper work needed so finally..... THIS WOULD BE THE DAY I would  get my license plates.
Assured that all was in order, he left and I went back to bed.
I arrived at the government office mid morning and had a friendly chat with Officer Self.  He knows me now, and I've put him on my Christmas card list.  I took a number and waited.
I was called up to the counter.
The clerk reviewed my file and announced, "your husband did not sign the title.....you will have to go home, download a POWER OF ATTORNEY form, get him to sign it and return.
I declared...I WILL SIGN IT FOR HIM.  I have our marriage certificate, birth certificates, Passports, last known water bill, a credit card or two, deed to the house, and an appointment card to see my dr. next week.
 She replied, "NO, HE must sign this himself."
I retorted,  "He is not in town and if I go home today, when I return there will be a fine because we are now past 30 days."
She said, 'I'm sorry mamm, you will have to go home and download the form and return."
I explained that NO, I WAS NOT LEAVING....THAT SHE MUST DO SOME CREATIVE WORK AND COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET THIS DONE...TODAY!
A stare down began!
Time ticked by....I was not moving and at this point she refused to look up from her computer screen.

Another clerk approached with a plan.  Honeybuns could download the form at work, sign it, send it back to her via e-mail and that would work.
OK!  I telephoned Honeybuns....got him out of a meeting, tried to explain the situation, handed the phone to the second clerk and she explained what he should do.  He agreed and PROMISED TO DO ALL THAT THIS VERY MOMENT.

I was told to wait.  "DO I HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER NUMBER??"
No.

15 minutes later she called me to the counter.  The form came over e-mail, he'd signed it...BUT...he signed it on the wrong line.  He would have to do it again.

I called and told him to check his email, she'd sent the form back because he'd signed on the wrong line.  He promised me he'd do it again...THAT VERY MOMENT.

I went over to Office Self and told him that NOW I UNDERSTOOD WHY POLICE OFFICERS ARE ALWAYS STANDING IN THESE GOVERNMENT OFFICES.  He smiled, "because I look so good??"   Me, "No, to keep the peace because I'm about ready to pinch someones head off."
He calmly replied, "No. you're not going to do that, calm down, breathe, it'll work out."

By now, I was fighting tears and trembling.  I texted a friend.  (It always helps to share misery, right?
She promised she'd be right over to help me through this.  I assured her I would live...maybe.
I promised to come directly to her house IF I ever got out of that office.)

I waited.

The supervisor of the place called me to the counter.  She wanted my file with the car inspection, proof of insurance, VIN, number, etc....she had received the POWER OF ATTORNEY and was ready for me to sign.  At this point she is now speaking loudly and slowly as one does when you visit the elderly in the nursing home.  I was offended but dared not say a word.  THIS WOMAN was doing to best to get me out of that place. After writing a check that included one arm and one leg for the privilege of owning a car, the process was complete.

After about 2 hours of all this nonsense, I walked out, license plates tucked under my arm, vowing to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER enter that place again.

On to the Tolltag office....10 minutes of delightful interaction with a very helpful young man.
On to the Neighborhood Guard Gate to get a sticker for my new car so they'll let me in.....THAT'S ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY.  I'm tired of writing of this fiasco.

MORAL OF THE STORY.......Forget the car, buy a horse.

THE COMEDY ROUTINE AT THE UPS STORE

Where is Harvey Korman and Tim Conway when you need them?

I actually LIVED a scene this past week that BEGS for the greatest two man comedy team of all times.

Ready?  You won't believe this one.

I entered the UPS Store at Preston Center and was promptly greeted by David, wearing a UPS name tag.  A nice young man, upright, looked healthy, his shoes were tied, hair combed and his shirt was tucked in.  This transaction should go quickly.

I grabbed a 5x7 brown manila envelope off the display and stuffed my contents inside, sealed it.

Me, "David, I need to send this to downtown Dallas, can you do that for me?

David, "Sure"  He begins typing into his computer.  After several minutes, he says,
"That'll be $13.79."

Me,  Looking very surprised.  "Whoa, $13.00 for an envelope to go 5 miles.  Nope, that won't do."

David,  "Well, we charge more because we're a UPS facility."

Me. "David....I'm not going to pay $13.00 to send this. Maybe you can find a cheaper way."

David,  "OK, let's go over here to another computer and we'll send it through the post office."

Me, "Great! That'll work just fine."

David,  After typing into this new computer for several minutes...."that'll be $12.89"

Me,  "David!  I'm not paying $12.00 to send this, that's ridiculous.  Do you understand that?"

David,  "Sorry mam, that's what its going to cost."

We stare at each other awkwardly.  A couple of minutes of silence goes by.

Me,  "David, why don't you sell me some stamps, I'll put them on the envelope and let's do it that way."

David, " But I can't sell you individual stamps."

Me,  "OK...what can you sell me?"

David,  "I can sell you a book of stamps for $13.00."

Me, Thinking this through..... "OK, I'll take a book of stamps for $13.00."
   I pay. He hands me a book of stamps.

Me,  "Now David!  Can you weigh this envelope and see how many stamps I should put on it?"

David,  weighs envelope,  "Two!  Two Stamps"

Me,   "OK!"   I attach two stamps and hand him back the envelope.

I start to walk out...but remember.

Me, " David, I don't think you charged me for the manila envelope."

David,  "Ok, what is that?  A photo mailer?"

Me, "No, it's a brown manila envelope.  Probably about $1.79"

David,  " OK, that's exactly what it costs, $1.79."

Me,  "Great!   I pay.  "David, I'm sorry to be such a bother today, but perhaps you've learned something in this process."

David,  "Yes, mam,"  Waving the envelope. " I'll be sure and get this in the mail today."

Me,  "THANK YOU for all your help." I walk to my car absolutely stunned.  What just happened here?

Two days later the envelope was returned....INSUFFICIENT POSTAGE!

You can't make this stuff up.

MRS. JOB, REBEKAH, & JEZEBEL

Annie Marie Flynn
age 16,  taken 1919

Mrs. Job, Rebekah and Jezebel met at a bar.  No, not really. I made that up.

Actually they met in my study these past few weeks as I prepared for a Thursday morning Women's Bible Study at our church.

Wow!  These gals have a lot to teach us.

To say that THEY and everyone (but Jesus) in the Scriptures had a failure of faith is an understatement.  These three ancient women and their stories have been swirling around in my head for several weeks now.

Mrs. Job had everything going for her, life was good, until one day she lost everything she loved, materially and physically.  Her whole livelihood and 10 children were gone in a period of 24 hours.  All she had left was a very sick and dejected husband, who was still clinging to his faith in the living God.  She was ready for Job to curse God and go ahead and die.  What a wife that one proved to be!

Lesson:  Only God is eternal, everything else can be gone in a flash.  Cling to HIM....period.
It's called life.  If we're not having a "Job" experience yet, we will!  It's almost guaranteed. BUT....tragedy, surprises, & loss NEVER define the power, love and sovereignty of God. Only HE can bring light into darkness, comfort into despair, relief into hopelessness.  We prepare for life BEFORE it happens by knowing GOD during the calm good times.  HE is our only strong and sure foundation when tragedy hits.

Rebekah started out SO well, but after the twins were born she started playing favoritism and THAT destroyed her family.  She felt only SHE could control circumstances to bring about God's plan for her beloved Jacob and in the process lost him forever.  It is a sad, sad commentary on the power of a wife and mom.

Lessoon:  Manipulation, conniving and deceit are ingredients for a family disaster.  Rebekah pretended to be God and she failed miserably as a "wanna-be" deity.

Jezebel was probably the meanest, irreverent, ruthless, most controlling wife in ancient history. No one names their baby girl after this one.  She used her  power to manipulate and murder all in the name of "I'm going to do it my way!"   In the end wild dogs ate her up.

Lesson:  Disregarding the person and word of the Sovereign God invites holy justice. God will not be mocked.

There's too many applications in these stories to even begin to list them  in this short blog.  That's for another time and place. That's not the purpose of this article.

These women remind me of another woman.

You see, another woman's life has been swirling in my brain these past few weeks.  Annie Marie!  My grandmother on my mother's side.  I watched her up close and personal.  Let me tell you about her.

She NEVER spoke badly of her husband or children. NEVER.
She NEVER plotted against her husband or tried to manipulate him in any way...EVER!
She NEVER let tragedy (and she had experienced more than most) remove the song in her heart that I heard regularly as she sang in the kitchen.
She NEVER had her own agenda or tried to control situations, people, or facts.
She NEVER allowed personal loss to diminish her faith in God or the laughter in her house. (she cheated regularly at gin rummy and poker)
She KNEW  God could handle her pain, her tears, her loss, her fears, her children's and grandchildren's future  and her destiny.
She NEVER plotted murder or participated in false witnesses testimony.
She NEVER played favorites and loved all her children and grandchildren equally.  (I thought I was the favorite, BUT that was from my perspective, not hers!)

Annie Marie.  Her name is not written down in the Holy Scriptures or a famous biography, but indelibly on my heart. What an example, by deed more than by word.

I was blessed to have her in my life.  What a treasure!