Tuesday, August 13, 2019

LEARN BY EXPERIENCE?




A few weeks ago I was sitting at a Dallas Cafe sipping tea, waiting for an appointment time.

The booth behind me was occupied by 4 delightful young men, who had obviously met to discuss their marriages, problems, frustrations, etc.  No doubt they were good friends, seemed to be about the same age (30's) up and coming movers and shakers in the business world. There they were in the middle of the day, having taken off work to fulfill their promise to meet with men who could help them.

I PROMISE I did NOT intend to overhear their conversation.  They were just SO close to my ears, just a few feet away.  They forgot they were in a public place  and soon their discussions became louder and louder as each spoke with passion, disbelief and pain.  Each one was struggling with a wife they simply could NOT understand.

And there I sat.

"She said this......."  I didn't know what to do!"

"When I came in the door, this happened......"

"I tried that, man....it didn't work."

"I'm at the end of my rope...."

"What does she want of me?'

It went on and on.   At first I was slightly entertained and then became very sad that these fine young men that obviously loved their wives were struggling.  AND they were pooling ignorance.  Not one had any good advice for anyone in the group.  Truthfully, if I had not seen their faces as I sat down I would have guessed that they were high school boys killing time after school.  My heart went out to them.

And there I sat.

Having lived through 48 years of marriage and many more years than that of being a woman, I sat there and just WISHED they would LOOK UP and SEE ME and ASK ME to join the conversation.   I wanted to hug them all and tell them a few things or two.

BUT....I'm a granny from another generation, not "HIP," not technically savvy, INVISIBLE.

There's a whole WORLD of us out here. I know several that have weathered unbelievable storms of life, most of which these young men will never experience. How I treasure the friendship of many extremely wise women that have guided my thoughts and reactions concerning a multitude of "crisis."  I've learned its a lot easier to learn from another's experience, both good and bad, than learn those hard lessons on my own.

It seems to me after thousands of dollars spent on counseling, thousands of hours meeting with accountability groups, and thousands of tears shed....these young men might consider a talk with their  grandmothers!  It's not that hard folks.  There are some very basic things that must be done and accomplished and it'll work.

I'm thinking of writing a book.   The title will be:  Common Sense from Granny

What do you think?  You want to add a chapter or two....collaborate with me.

I doubt anyone would buy it or READ it, BUT...we'll have the satisfaction of saying, "we tried."

Learning by another's experience or learning the hard way.  It's a choice.