Thursday, June 11, 2015
OSCAR WORTHY PERFORMANCE
Yesterday I called my insurance company to locate a dr. in the area that would take my insurance plan. No big deal, right???
I was pleasantly surprised to get a young "whippersnapper" on the phone who was no doubt sitting at his desk, bored, frustrated, discouraged, ready to go home!
The conversation went like this: (AFTER I pushed all the right buttons to divulge my ID number, my SS number, my husbands SS number, my phone number, my drivers license number, my house number and my birthweight!)
Me: I'm calling to locate a dr. in my area that is "in network," just to make sure payment will be covered by my insurance plan.
Him: What is the name of the dr?
Me: I don't have a dr. yet...I'm calling to find one that participates in my plan.
Him: (Annoyed) I can't look up the dr. if you don't have the name of the dr.
Me: I'm calling to FIND the name of a dr. in my plan.
At this point everything changed!!
Him: (In a very slow and loud voice) I'm sorry MAMAM, DO. YOU. HAVE. ACCESS. TO. A. COMPUTER?
Me: (In my very high pitched, 95 year old voice) I sure do, sonny. Let me see if I can get that contraption turned on.
Him: (In a very slow and loud and condescending voice) YOU. TURN. IT. ON....I'LL. WALK. YOU. THROUGH. THE PROCESS.
After SEVERAL minutes of this back and forth, after several computer clicks, I (with the help of my young friend) located the list of drs.
Me: (In my very high pitched, 95 year old voice) Why, thank you sonny. You have been a tremendous help to me today. Why, if I were near, I'd bring you my famous chocolate chip cookies, just my way to say thanks.
Him: (In a very slow and loud voice) YOU. ARE. VERY. WELCOME. MADAM. IS. THERE. ANYTHING. ELSE. I. CAN. HELP. YOU. WITH. TODAY?
Me: (In my very high pitched, 95 year old voice) Not today sonny. I'm going back to bed now, it's naptime here at the home, you know.
Him: (In a very slow and loud voice) YOU. HAVE. A. GOOD. DAY. NOW.......GOOD-BY!
Me: (to myself) How did he think I got to his extension in the first place....positive thinking? voodoo? prayer??
Conclusion: I'm going to do this more often! It's fun...AND...I get what I want. No pride here.
He can tell his co-workers how he helped the 95 yr old Granny and feel good about himself.
(It is not beneath me to play the role of the helpless little old woman in need of a knight in shining armor. You can call it sexist, I'll call it WISDOM. AND it's entertaining!)