Time for a new car, he said. It'll be fun, he said. Pick out the color, he said.
And we were off in search of a replacement for my very beloved OLD Ford Expedition. The one that at one time hauled all 9 grandchildren to various places, took us across country many times on vacations, carried us to funerals and weddings and everything in between. It would be hard to let that truck go. But....it's time, he said.
SO....we did all the necessary research, looked around for months and finally decided on our new ride. That was the "fun" part. Next came the dreaded, applying for license plates part. And my story begins.
It is required by law to have a metal plate with numbers and letters attached to the front and back of every vehicle on the road here in Texas. There is a humongous bureaucracy in place for this law to be fulfilled. The agency is controlled by the state government and there are various places around the metroplex where the "new owner" of a vehicle must appear, endure the process and pay exorbitant fees.
I am a law abiding citizen.
This is my experience.
First visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I checked the web site and learned that the office nearest me was open daily until 4:30 p.m. I gathered all the documents concerning me, my husband, our history, our lives, our birth weight and arrived at the designated place at 4:10....plenty of time, right? I was stopped by the security officer before I reached the counter or a chair for a visit. After 10 minutes of friendly conversation, he informed me that I was there too late in the day because since my new car had been purchased out of state, it would take too long to process my needs that day. I muttered under my breath and smiled and promised to come back another day, earlier than 4:10.
Second visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I arrived mid morning, visited with the police officer again, took a number and waited. After some time my number was called and I approached the counter. After stating my purpose, the clerk informed me that I needed to fill out a rather lengthy form before applying and insisted I take it home and carefully do that. I smiled at Officer Self on my way out. (Why didn't I get this form on my first trip??)
Third visit to the Denton County Tax/Tag Office:
I arrived mid day, with completed form in hand, all the documents pertaining to my life in a folder tucked under my arm. I spoke with Office Self, took a number and sat down to wait. After a while I was called to the country, where I presented my request and ALL documents known to mankind to the clerk. After about 15 minutes of her reviewing my papers, she informed me that I must have the TITLE to the car to get license plates. Of course! I knew that! I left without speaking to Officer Self this time.
I went home, called the car dealer and insisted he send me the title of the car. He promised he would work on it but expect it in 30 days. Oh, and by the way...IF the license plates are purchased after 30 days, there would be an additional fine. I went out and stood by the mail box for the title to be delivered. It appeared about 3 weeks later.
Fourth visit to the Denton Country Tax/Tag Office:
Since Honeybuns was driving to Tulsa EARLY that morning, I got up at 3:00 a.m. and together we reviewed all the paper work needed so finally..... THIS WOULD BE THE DAY I would get my license plates.
Assured that all was in order, he left and I went back to bed.
I arrived at the government office mid morning and had a friendly chat with Officer Self. He knows me now, and I've put him on my Christmas card list. I took a number and waited.
I was called up to the counter.
The clerk reviewed my file and announced, "your husband did not sign the title.....you will have to go home, download a POWER OF ATTORNEY form, get him to sign it and return.
I declared...I WILL SIGN IT FOR HIM. I have our marriage certificate, birth certificates, Passports, last known water bill, a credit card or two, deed to the house, and an appointment card to see my dr. next week.
She replied, "NO, HE must sign this himself."
I retorted, "He is not in town and if I go home today, when I return there will be a fine because we are now past 30 days."
She said, 'I'm sorry mamm, you will have to go home and download the form and return."
I explained that NO, I WAS NOT LEAVING....THAT SHE MUST DO SOME CREATIVE WORK AND COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET THIS DONE...TODAY!
A stare down began!
Time ticked by....I was not moving and at this point she refused to look up from her computer screen.
Another clerk approached with a plan. Honeybuns could download the form at work, sign it, send it back to her via e-mail and that would work.
OK! I telephoned Honeybuns....got him out of a meeting, tried to explain the situation, handed the phone to the second clerk and she explained what he should do. He agreed and PROMISED TO DO ALL THAT THIS VERY MOMENT.
I was told to wait. "DO I HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER NUMBER??"
No.
15 minutes later she called me to the counter. The form came over e-mail, he'd signed it...BUT...he signed it on the wrong line. He would have to do it again.
I called and told him to check his email, she'd sent the form back because he'd signed on the wrong line. He promised me he'd do it again...THAT VERY MOMENT.
I went over to Office Self and told him that NOW I UNDERSTOOD WHY POLICE OFFICERS ARE ALWAYS STANDING IN THESE GOVERNMENT OFFICES. He smiled, "because I look so good??" Me, "No, to keep the peace because I'm about ready to pinch someones head off."
He calmly replied, "No. you're not going to do that, calm down, breathe, it'll work out."
By now, I was fighting tears and trembling. I texted a friend. (It always helps to share misery, right?
She promised she'd be right over to help me through this. I assured her I would live...maybe.
I promised to come directly to her house IF I ever got out of that office.)
I waited.
The supervisor of the place called me to the counter. She wanted my file with the car inspection, proof of insurance, VIN, number, etc....she had received the POWER OF ATTORNEY and was ready for me to sign. At this point she is now speaking loudly and slowly as one does when you visit the elderly in the nursing home. I was offended but dared not say a word. THIS WOMAN was doing to best to get me out of that place. After writing a check that included one arm and one leg for the privilege of owning a car, the process was complete.
After about 2 hours of all this nonsense, I walked out, license plates tucked under my arm, vowing to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER enter that place again.
On to the Tolltag office....10 minutes of delightful interaction with a very helpful young man.
On to the Neighborhood Guard Gate to get a sticker for my new car so they'll let me in.....THAT'S ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY. I'm tired of writing of this fiasco.
MORAL OF THE STORY.......Forget the car, buy a horse.
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