Saturday, September 10, 2011
One ditched bride confessed that she had just celebrated her 70th birthday, and it was this week that her husband of 50 years decided to walk out of their home, their shared memories, and their golden years. The other couple had also survived the years of the strain of raising children, career challenges and a bout or two of cancer. If any folks had reason to stay together at this point it should have been these!
For whatever reasons they all decided to throw in the towel, wave the white flag and split the sheets.
As the details unraveled it, and as clearly as I can understand it, both husbands had found the "love of their life" just recently! Evidently the magic of their first love had dwindled and as time ticked on more rapidly as they aged, these men decided they needed to throw caution to the wind and experience the electric spark of infidelity. Perhaps both denied that they would ever get caught or maybe didn't care. Evidently the thrill of the moment (or two or three) was worth the risk.
Perhaps now, in hindsight, the realization has hit that their "final big fling" was not worth the cost. They are paying a heavy price!
It seems that this story repeats itself way too often these days. The women and men that have experienced the same type of betrayal and SURVIVED, bruised but intact, are not as common. Maybe I don't hear enough tales about the many couples that patched it up and stayed together. Perhaps the pain and embarrassment over-shadows the willingness to tell. That would be very difficult.
BUT, it's weeks like these that I remind myself of friends that have overcome! They went through the very long process of grief, anger, sadness and FORGIVENESS. Time and hard work at rebuilding trust paid off and their love grew back and flourished. It's encouraging to know that it's possible! And I love to focus on those friends. They have a new freshness on their faces where once there was only gloom and doom. I think they've surprised themselves!
A resurrection of a dead marriage IS possible, IF both husband and wife want it bad enough. I think that's the key. It truly does take TWO to tango, and TWO to forgive, TWO to pick up the pieces and put them back together again.
Honeybuns and I have not faced this type of challenge yet! Hopefully we never will. BUT, if this awfulness should happen, I hope I will have the grace and strength to forgive.
If not, I will buy a gun. I think he knows that! He still looks at me with very WISE and loving eyes!